


a love quiet and unceasing

by redluxite (wordstruck)



Series: Sheith Angst Week 2018 [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: BOM!Keith, Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), M/M, Other Characters Present But Minor, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Sheith Angst Week 2018, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 21:35:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15805020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordstruck/pseuds/redluxite
Summary: Keith opens his eyes and there’s too much there for Shiro to decipher. Keith’s eyes are a galaxy as he looks at Shiro, a tiny smile tugging at his lips.“I will, Takashi,” he says.(Shiro would give himself a hundred times over to hear his name in that voice again, like it’s mercy.)And then Keith is turning away, walking to their ship, and Shiro is left touching empty spaces.It will never not hurt, he thinks, to watch Keith walk away.





	a love quiet and unceasing

**Author's Note:**

> We're kicking off Sheith Angst Week 2018 with some light angst! This is a revision of a fic draft I never finished, filling the prompt **unrequited**. Let's see if I can actually finish the whole week.

* * *

 

 

There are a few too many things that Shiro’s come to hate over the years, beginning but not limited to:

broccoli,   
french fries that have ketchup drizzled over them instead of being dipped,  
Sergeant Ryu’s survival drills,  
food goo,  
the Galra,  
too-small spaces,  
and the sight of Keith walking away.

That last one comes all too often, these days.

It’s nobody’s fault, because the Blade of Marmora need him and Keith is going where he needs to be, where he’s chosen. It’s nobody’s fault, because the coalition needs all the resources and information it can get in the fight against the Galra, and this is one of the best ways to get them. It’s nobody’s fault, and Shiro still resents that the time in between Keith’s returns to the Castle of Lions grows longer and longer.

He tries to stop keeping one ear open, one eye watchful, for a transmission or a hailing signature or a report. He’s the Black Paladin of Voltron. He’s not allowed to be selfish.

He succeeds, most days.

 

(But here is a truth Shiro has long kept buried: that the boy from the Garrison with a laugh like a summer rainstorm, the boy with eyes like a galaxy – Keith is the only thing Shiro wants to be selfish with. Shiro looks at him, bright and uncontainable, and in the quietest parts of his heart thinks,  _ please.  _

Thinks,  _ I will ask for little else but to stay beside him, for however long I am allowed.  _

Thinks,  _ let me stay with him. _ )

 

Given the grimness on even Kolivan’s normally stoic face, Shiro figures this mission is more high-risk than usual – which is saying something, considering it’s the Blade of Marmora. But the more Kolivan and Antok explain, the more details they give, the more the ice in Shiro’s chest pushes splinters into his lungs.

An infiltration of an active Galra base. The possible new location of where the druids are processing quintessence. A chance to track or even intercept, divert.

It would be a huge blow to the Galra, to Zarkon. It would be a massive achievement for the Blades, for the coalition.

It would put each and every participant directly in the line of fire, in the middle of a heavily-guarded and heavily-trafficked outpost.

“Antok will remain on ground to maintain communication and supervise,” Kolivan is saying. Allura nods along. Shiro tries to keep his eyes on the Blade of Marmora leader. 

“As for those participating.” Kolivan pauses, lips pursing. “I will lead the infiltration myself, with Toraz,” and Shiro knows her, the half-Galra technological specialist, “and Keith.”

Allura’s expression tightens, her next exhale slow and deliberate. On her other side, in his peripheral vision, Shiro can see Matt go tense.

Beside Shiro, Keith simply nods and goes back to studying the holographic projection of the Galra base in the middle of the room.

_ That’s it?  _ Shiro wants to ask him. A quick and simple agreement, without hesitation or question. But it’s a petty, self-serving thought; from the beginning, this war has asked all of them to put themselves on the line without question. There are always probable consequences.

So Shiro keeps his gaze steady, keeps looking forward.

Asks, “when do you leave?”

 

There is a week until the mission begins, but the Blades need to return to their base to prepare. Voltron, too, has its own obligations and duties -- they need to make a supply run, touch base with the Olkari; check the hailing signatures they’ve received and see where they’re needed for help.  _ No rest for the weary,  _ Shiro thinks, wry and tired. The meeting breaks up, with Kolivan handing Allura a copy of their plans and the coordinates of the outpost they’ll be infiltrating.

Slender fingers tentatively tap his human arm, and Shiro startles out of his thoughts to find Keith frowning up at him.

“Are you okay?” Keith asks, because of course he does.

Shiro looks at him and tries to summon a smile. He thinks he manages all right.

“Fine,” he says, exhaling a sigh. “Just a lot to process.”

Keith keeps his hand on Shiro’s forearm a moment longer, gaze sharp and searching. Shiro just shakes his head. Slowly, Keith withdraws, turns to look at where the Blades are discussing something with Matt and Allura. His mouth thins, like he’s thinking of something.

Shiro wants to run a thumb over that bottom lip, smooth his expression into something softer.

“Come on,” he says instead, clapping Keith on the shoulder. “We should tell the others about what’s going down.”

Keith huffs a laugh under his breath. “Bet Pidge wasn’t too happy to be left out.”

“No,” Shiro agrees with a chuckle. “Neither was Lance.”

The grin on Keith’s face widens and he shakes his head. “He’s going to  _ hate  _ that I’m getting sent on a top secret mission.”

The hand on Keith’s shoulder drops as he moves to exit the room. Shiro closes it into a fist, then lets it fall to his side. Follows with his smile carefully in place.

Doesn’t say,  _ I hate it too.  _

 

The Blades leave after a few hours. The Paladins and Coran see them off. Shiro watches Keith fall into place with them, just another soldier.

(Aren’t they all soldiers?)

“Wait,” he says, without thinking. Keith turns back, surprised, looking at him with wide eyes. He comes to a halt, lets the other Blades walk past and ahead of him.

Shiro reaches for him, the human hand, hopes it’s not shaking. It closes around Keith’s shoulder and Shiro can’t feel anything but the rough, stiff fabric of the Blade of Marmora suit. He wonders if under his touch, Keith would be warm.

There is a long moment where they simply stand there, Keith watching and waiting and Shiro trying to find a way to – say  _ something,  _ say anything, take the sensation that’s clogging his throat and find words for why. But he can’t, doesn’t know how, so he tugs Keith a little closer and leans in, and—

(Keith’s eyes close. It doesn’t mean what Shiro wants it to, it can’t.)

—and Shiro touches their foreheads together, lightly. Keeps the rest of himself distanced.

Says, softly, “come back to us, all right?”

_ Come back to me,  _ he means, but he can’t say that out loud. He tucks it away in his lungs.

And Keith – Keith opens his eyes and there’s too much there for Shiro to decipher. Keith’s eyes are a galaxy as he looks at Shiro, a tiny smile tugging at his lips.

“I will, Takashi,” he says.

(Shiro would give himself a hundred times over to hear his name in that voice again, like it’s mercy.)

And then Keith is turning away, walking to their ship, and Shiro is left touching empty spaces.

It will never not hurt, he thinks, to watch Keith walk away.

 

Because here is one more truth Shiro has long kept buried: that he has loved Keith for so long, now; has loved Keith since they’d been stranded together on a hostile planet in the far reaches of space, and back and back and back. He has loved Keith all these weeks and months and maybe even years, maybe from the moment Keith turned to him with the first genuine smile he’d ever given Shiro, soft crinkles at the corners of his eyes. He has loved Keith quietly, unceasingly, wholeheartedly.

For Shiro, Keith has never stopped feeling like the crackle of lightning in the desert air ahead of a storm – electric, exhilarating, enticing.

For Shiro, love has never been so painful or so sweet.

Because even if Keith never feels the same; even if Shiro takes all his confessions and hides them in the spaces between his ribs, where Keith cannot see; even if Shiro continues to love him quietly, so quietly – he will still be selfish.

He’ll still stay with Keith, as long as he’s allowed, just so he keeps seeing Keith smile.

(And he can pretend, when Keith goes away and comes back, that it’s him that Keith’s coming home to.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Come say hi on social media – I'm on Twitter as [@okw_tr](https://twitter.com/okw_tr) and Tumblr as [okwtr](https://okwtr.tumblr.com). ^ ^ I post a lot of WIPs, AUs/HCs, and updates on ongoing/future projects.


End file.
